Do you still have your period?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
