Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
