the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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