worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
