Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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