I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
