dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
