will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize