Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.