Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
