She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Please, let me fuck your mom
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.