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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel rough

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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• (925): View more from California

  Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (315): View more from New York

  Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video

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• (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable

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