I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
