She's JV to your varsity
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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