My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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