I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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