You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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