just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
