your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
