Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
