Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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