I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
