Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
