i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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