were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
