Tell her she can't have a vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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