I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
