actually, I'm a sock model
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
