seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize