Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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