I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my shit smells like andre
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
