i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
