I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
