I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
