someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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