So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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