Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
