More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
