He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
