The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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