Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
