I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
