Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think my mom watched the whole time
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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