so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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