Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
