You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
