He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
