My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
