I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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