dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
