dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
