Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
