based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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