they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
