so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
