Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
