Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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