Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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