Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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