Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize