I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
