The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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