Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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