You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
