I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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