we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
