OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
