I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
