why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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