I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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